I Lost My WHY

If money is not an issue, what would you do in your life?

Would you still keep your day job? Travel the world? Fulfill your afam goals? Follow your favorite Blackpink member wherever she goes? Smoke weed in Jamaica? Go to Puerto Rico and have a taste of their Piña Colada? Or drown yourself with a pool of booze in Germany?

I know at some point in your life, you have already daydreamed about how winning the 6/55 Grand Lotto would solve all your problems in life. I was once like that. And just like you, that thought of instant bliss made me think about the house, car, travel, and dream business I want to spend my moolah on. 

Jeeeeeez, if only!

Almost everything revolves around money.

Today, almost everything revolves around money. Let’s not sugarcoat it. Notice how your mood instantly changes when your problem involves money? “And if you’re not doing anything that involves making your bank account fat, then what the heck are you doing with your life?”, said, everyone.

It’s true. Money isn’t the ultimate source of happiness. But if it isn’t something you’re worried about, you somehow free yourself with problems involving the lack thereof. I know you get the point, don’t you?

This brings me back to my first question.

What would you do if money isn’t an issue?

At this point, you may have figured out yours already. And I want you to keep that until the end of this article because I have a bigger question for you.

In my case, it wasn’t the house, car, travel, and dream business. Well, partly yes, but those aren’t my main WHYs.

If money isn’t an issue, I will spend more time with the things and the people I love. I want to eat with my family in every meal. I want to play with my nephews. I want to paint. I want to write. 

Now, if you have noticed, my heart’s desires do not necessarily involve money. They involve time. And I wanted to make more money so I will not have to worry about spending much time working my ass off in return for some bucks. 

And so it became my WHY. If money isn’t my problem, then I can spend more time with the things and the people I love. 

I worked hard. Did almost everything to earn more, in a legal way of course. I became  a self-confessed raketera who is a sucker for gigs — not just for myself but for my WHY. 

I said if money isn’t an issue, I’d spend more time with family but I chose to work even during weekends.

I said if money isn’t an issue, I’d play with my nephews but I chose to submit into deep slumber because I’m very tired to do so. 

I said if money isn’t an issue, I’d paint and write but I did not see any point of pursuing those passions. Just a waste of time. I’d rather spend my time working on my side hustles.

Worse is, everything never really dawned on me until I lost my father last September of 2020. Because out of all people, he’s the very person where I draw my courage. The moment I lost him, it seemed as though I lost my purpose. Everything I worked hard for the past years had already seemed pointless. And that loss wreaked havoc on all other areas of my life. 

Sure, I may have given all the necessary resources to provide for my family’s needs but I forgot to give them the thing that is more important than money — my TIME.

I became so consumed with the process of fulfilling my WHYs that it made me forget the real reason why I am working so hard: to spend more time with the things and the people I love. 

It’s like setting myself up for a failure. 

Now let us get back to your WHYs.

You said if money isn’t an issue, you’d spend more time with your family.

You said if money isn’t an issue, you’d buy your dream house, dream car, and put up your dream business.

You said if money isn’t an issue, you’d travel around the world.

You said if money isn’t an issue, you’d write a book.

You said if money isn’t an issue, you’d build a family.

You said if money isn’t an issue, you’d pursue philanthropy.

But along the way, are you really making time for your WHYs? 

Do you prioritize your family over anything?

Have you figured out the specific details of the exact house, car, and business you want?

Do you have a specific country and a specific travel itinerary in mind?

Have you started making an outline of the book you wanted to write?

Are you sparing some time to find a life partner?

Have you involved yourself in charity events?

While in the process of achieving your WHYs, have you really made time for them?

If not, then maybe, those aren’t really your WHYs. Or maybe, just like me, you LOST IT.