I Distrusted The Process

As opposed to what my family, friends, and colleagues think, I don’t really consider myself an intelligent person. No, I’m not trying to humblebrag. I just noticed how slow I could catch up and internalize things, slower than an average person does especially if it’s something that’s new to me.

Disclaimer: This is a very loooong article but I hope you’ll read it until the end as this is something I think is highly unusual.

I’m a slow learner

I read slower than my average peers.

I watch videos longer than the video’s actual time because I always tend to go back two or three times in parts where I hardly understand. Yep, even in pure entertainment vlogs, I do that.

If you’re talking to me, I usually give answers which are very far from our discussion. I tend to perceive differently what the other person is trying to tell. Some of my friends or colleagues noticed this. 

This side of me is something that most people tend to overlook that they still recognize me as a human being with a high level of intelligence based on the complicated things I can do. 

I already disclosed my university accomplishments in my previous post but I would just highlight them once again. Because honestly, it’s one of the things I can hardly comprehend.

I graduated from college with flying colors. I even got a national award that recognized the best civil engineering students during my time. But I usually keep this information to myself. In fact, I rarely talk about this for the following reasons:

1. I believe I just did what a normal student should do. And I did it diligently and religiously to preserve my scholarship grant. 
   
   
2. I don’t think I’m smart enough. As I’ve said earlier, I’m a slow learner.
   
   
3. I never had a single award prior to my university accomplishments aside from “Best in Arts” in my sixth grade. 
   
   

Yep, I’m a slow learner!

To back up the “slow learner” theory, during my freshman years in high school, I almost got myself kicked out of our school. It was a science high school so what do you expect? The finest and most intelligent students are the only ones who are allowed to stay. I honestly had no idea why I was accepted in the first place. I just got there by luck. 

Again, as I said, I was and still am a slow learner. In fact, I remember how a freshman high school teacher told me how dumb I was after an hour of frying me in front of the class. But thanks to the heavens, the universe, and my high school friends who fed me answers during exams, I was able to graduate from that school successfully.

A quick shoutout to Arman Ann Trazo for saving our confused ass during Physics and Calculus exams! This woman is actually one of my life and financial mentors and is one of my high school besties! She’s now an electronics engineer and at the same time a financial advisor. Swear, she’s the best advisor you can get for yourself! To reach her out, just head on to her facebook page, Gritty Filipina. This is not a paid advertisement, but I’d appreciate it if you’ll give me commissions from my referrals Ann! 😉

Now let’s go back!

I experienced a huge shift

During my high school years, however, I noticed something strange. If I remember it right, starting from my second year of high school until I got to college, I tend to grasp concepts and principles easily, far more than an average student does. Still, I never got any awards not until college. It’s so hard to compete with the brightest and smartest students of that high school, you know. 

When I stepped into college, this is when I think my brain’s capacity was finally fully unlocked. In fact, it came to a point when I don’t take notes anymore and the only thing you can find in my school bag are the following:

1. Calculator
   
   
2. Ballpen
   
   
3. Face powder
   
   
4. Ten boxes of Minglanilla, Cebu’s Ramcheschel hopia to sell to my schoolmates. (Again, not a paid advertisement but I’ll gladly accept if there’s any. Thanks to this, I was able to aid myself financially during college.)
   
   

And when it’s time to take notes, I don’t. 

I just listen to the instructor and make sure to grasp the core concepts. I give all my focus into the discussion and when there’s something I can hardly understand, I never hesitate to ask. I make sure I understand the core concepts and principles before leaving the room. 

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not the Einstein level kind of genius. 

Once I get home, I still take down notes but only the core concepts and formulas. In fact, I could hardly fill a 50-page notebook in a semester. I often test my understanding by solving problems myself. 

Again, I don’t have notes of the step-by-step solutions so I either ask a classmate for the sample problems and answers (to check if my answers are right) and solve them myself. In my own way. At my own pace. Ironically though, because of this constant exercise, I found myself grasping concepts faster than my peers, especially in higher level Mathematics.

But this is something not new to Mathematimaticians. There are so many ways to kill a pig so as long as I get the correct answers by myself, even if I’m using a different and personal approach, I’m all good.

I hope my not-so-short backstory didn’t bore you. Things are just starting to get interesting. 

Three Major Phases of Construction

 

As civil engineers, there are three major processes we have to follow in building structures:

Pre-Construction Phase → Construction Phase → Post-Construction Phase 

• Pre-Construction: where planning and designing take place.
  
  
• Construction: the actual erection of the building or a structure.
  
  
• Post-Construction: evaluation and conducting necessary fixes before client’s acceptance.
  
  

For different types of projects, it takes a different timeline for each phases. Some take so much time in the pre-construction phase while others in the construction phase. But on average, here’s how much time it takes for each phase:

Pre-Construction Phase: 30%

Construction Phase: 60%

Post-Construction Phase: 10%

(30-60-10) That’s a total of 100%. Nope, there’s no percentage for audience impact here.

What the heck Sheila, why are you telling me these things?

I already told you. This is a very long article. But please don’t give up just yet!

I usually take more time on the Pre-Construction phase

By now, you must have figured out why I included the three phases of construction. Because far from the average 30-60-10 ratio to get things done, I usually take more time on the pre-construction phase.

Imagine this.

If you’re an average person, you tend to make decisions the 30-60-10 ratio. 30% on planning, 60% on execution, and 10% on evaluation. Let me just stick to this ratio and set the bar here as an average to have a clear comparison with mine.

For me, it’s really different. I usually take the 60-30-10 path. 60% on planning, 30% on execution, and 10% on evaluation. Of course, there are some other factors where these average percentages may differ like taking a bath or eating. I don’t need that 60% planning stage to argue whether I should take a bath or not.

But when it comes to huge life decisions, I follow my 60-30-10 ratio because that’s who I am. Over the years, I’ve just come to terms with my slow learning ability and found that as long as I take more time in the initial phase, I’d finish the task faster and more efficiently than an average person does.

Now, this is the time when you would think I’m an oddly created human being, and I understand.

There are actually times when I took the 10-30-60 ratio. 10% on planning, 30% on execution, and 60% on evaluation.

To get a clearer view in smaller tasks like grooming myself daily, in a very specific timeline, say 100 minutes, I spend: 

• 10 minutes to think about taking a bath
• 30 minutes on actually taking a bath
• 60 minutes on grooming myself (having my skin care, taking my clothes on, etc)
  
  

Again, there’s no percentage for audience impact here.

But NO, I often take the 10-30-60 path not just in some petty tasks like taking a bath or pooping or eating, but in making HUGE life decisions as well!

What? How’s this even possible?

I tend to live at the other end of the spectrum

If you personally know me well, you’d notice my contrasting personality at times.

Sometimes I’m too energetic, other times I’m too apathetic.

Sometimes I’m too enthusiastic, other times I’m too passive.

Sometimes I’m too loud, other times I’m too quiet.

Sometimes I’ll flood your newsfeed with shared nonsense memes, other times I post inspirational thoughts.

Sometimes I don’t give a f*ck, other times I have too many f*cks to give.

That’s me. I’m always at the end of the spectrum. There’s no in between, only extremes. 

I think the only thing that remains constant is my beauty. 

The 10-30-60 is the common cause of my failures

Now let’s get back to my 60-30-10 and 10-30-60 ratios. I hope you still remember it though. This time, let me highlight the 10-30-60. 

10% on planning, 30% on execution, and 60% on evaluation.

This is usually the time when I have to make huge life decisions and my impulsive and impatient bitch ass takes over. This is in contrast with my 60-30-10 patient and logical self.

I usually take the jump without thinking too much and suffer the consequences in the end. Like how I got scammed last 2017. Like how I failed my first job interview. 

I disrespected my own process

I know too well how slow a learner I am but as I’ve told you, I tend to disrespect my own process. I tend to express distrust to MY OWN process especially when I get too excited, too impatient, too loud, etc.,

I disrespect my own process when I’m on the other end of my spectrum. 

The takeaway? When I make decisions based on emotions, I take the quicker path.

And as we all know, we all make decisions we often regret when we’re too happy or too sad. 

On the brighter side though, even if I take the 10-30-60 path, I still learn my lessons during the evaluation stage. And more often, these are the hardest lessons that push me back to my own process, the 60-30-10.

Respect your process

This may be my story but it can also be your story too! I hope you get the message I’m trying to convey that all of us have our distinct and personal processes.

I can’t stress this enough but please respect the ones you have. We learn and achieve something at a different pace, at a different time. Your time will come. Just because you see your peers getting ahead of you, doesn’t mean you’ll stay where you are. 

It takes time, dedication, and commitment to be an overnight success.

Maybe it takes longer than usual for you to grow your roots before sprouting your seedling.

Or maybe, just like me, you’re a slow learner.

You’re not alone, cheers to that!