I Will Never Be Ready

When was the last time you made a huge decision in your life? Was it something you’re proud of? Did it turn out well? Were there any regrets? Was it something you wish you never did? Or was it something you’re forever grateful for?

I remember two years ago, I promised myself I’d quit my profession as a civil engineer to pursue full-time freelancing. Back then, I was still in my second year in the corporate world. I loved my job but it wasn’t something I want to bleed for long-term. There was no work-life balance. I had no peace of mind either. I was mentally and physically exhausted and the money I was earning wasn’t enough to compensate for the extreme fatigue I was feeling.

But I had no choice but to stay. I wasn’t privileged enough to quit my job like I always wanted to. I am my family’s sole provider so I can’t afford to lose a sustainable income. Taking that huge leap was too difficult so I had to say no to myself. Not yet, not this time. Survivability over personal gratification indeed. 

Two years after that promise, here I am, finally free from the corporate jungle I always wanted to escape from. And I never see myself coming back unless my personal corporate job deal breakers are eradicated.

Still, making the decision to finally jump off the boat was a life and death situation. No matter how hard I prepared for this very moment, the feeling of uncertainty for the things that could happen on the other side is something that scares the hell out of me.

Comfort vs Uncertainty

We, as human beings, always strive hard to live with certainty. We are wired to avoid pain and rejections as much as possible. Whenever we’re laid with life choices, we often choose the one that is so easy to do even if the other option can give better benefits.

There are many reasons why easier options are too enticing. It may be because the other option requires a lot of leg work. Or demands a certain investment you’re not willing to give up. Or maybe, it isn’t just something you’re accustomed to doing.

But whatever that reason is, it will always boil down to one thing: FEAR

We are fearful of what could or couldn’t happen next. We are fearful of rejections and failures. We are fearful of getting hurt. In short, we hate uncertainty because it is something that brings unwanted emotions. And we don’t want that.

If you’re a scaredy-cat when watching horror movies, you know it too well that it isn’t the moment the character finally sees the ghost that scares you. Well, of course, it’s effin frightening. But it’s the moment when the lead steps out of the door and walks through the dark alley that scares you more. He knows there’s something out there but he chose to go out still.

For sure, it’s the same moment you’re crying your heart out at the other end of the screen for him not to go there. As if he’ll hear you, duh!

You see, uncertainty often breeds doubt and fear, which in turn could lead to inaction. Because it’s safer to stay in our comfort zones than to risk safety and comfortability. 

We are always scared of the unknown. 

And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Fear is an essential emotion necessary for survival. Without fear, you’d probably say yes to every opportunity presented to you even if it means doing daredevil stunts at the edge of Cape of Hope.

But somewhere, somehow, we need to step out of our comfort zones in order to grow. Otherwise, we’ll still get the same results and we’ll keep on ranting about the same things. Keep in mind though, that not all people are privileged enough to take the leap. So if you have that, you’re lucky. 

Looking back, I attribute my current situation not to the things I didn’t do but to the things I did in the past. 

My financial wisdom wouldn’t be as strong as now if it wasn’t because of the first SCAM investment I had. This blog wouldn’t be possible if I haven’t bought my own domain and published my first article. I wouldn’t earn through trading if I was too scared to lose a significant amount while testing trading strategies.

Although not all outcomes of the choices I made in the past are favorable, I’m just glad I chose to take action. Because I realized I never failed. I was either redirected to a much better place or was served a lesson to do better next time. It was better to be defeated than to never fight at all. And I know the takeaways I gained in the previous battles are necessary to win a much bigger battle in the future.

But I realized there was no point in the past when I was 100% ready. Doubts and fears were always there but I chose to close my eyes and take a leap instead. And the more I chose to take action, the more confident and courageous I become. It’s like an upward spiral that builds up over time.

Before I end this, I just want to thank my previous self for taking action. I wouldn’t be who I am now if it wasn’t for the bravery you’ve shown. To my current self, I know we still have so many battles to conquer together. But I know you can do it like you always did! You will never be ready, but you’ll do it anyway as you always have. 

How about you? What was one of the most memorable decisions you made in the past that brought you the greatest lesson in life? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section!