26 Life Lessons On My 26th

I’m not a teen anymore, but I’m still a teen at heart. This is the first time I’ll be sharing with you my life lessons on my birthday. Although I recently lost one of the most important people in my life, my father, I’m still grateful for the life that has been given to me. I believe there’s always a silver lining of why things have happened.

Looking back, I attribute my current life situation to all the people, experiences, both good and the bad, that made me learn these life lessons. This is quite a long list, but I hope you’ll read it until the end.

1. Keep private things private.

Although I share some personal things here on my blog, I am a very private person. I don’t share much if it doesn’t give value or doesn’t concern other people. I always prefer keeping my personal relationships as private as I can. That’s how I protect my peace and the peace of the people who are dear to me. 

2. Help someone without asking anything in return.

I grew up financially struggling, but I’m also very grateful for the people who shared their blessings when I had nothing to offer. I think I always carried those small acts of kindness with me that subconsciously, it’s the same thing I’m doing. Because I know how it feels to have nothing. Today, I may not have a lot to offer, but I have more than enough to share. 

3. Don’t let your mouth overload your back.

This is always one of my struggles in life. It’s tough for me to say no when someone asks for help. I often tend to always go the extra in helping people to the point of putting their needs above mine. Before, I thought it’s okay to struggle as long as you have helped someone. But over time, I realized I was becoming too hard on myself. That by saying too many yeses to other people, I was saying no to myself. 

4. When it’s hard to become someone else, just be yourself.

Society will always tell you what standards you should adhere to. This is especially apparent today when you see all those life goals in social media. And that’s when we try to create a different version of ourselves to seek other people’s validation. It’s easy to do that. It’s easy to put the mask on to fit in. But more often than not, it’s not the kind of life we wish to have. What takes more courage is just to be your own authentic self. And how do you know if you’re just being yourself? If you do things for yourself and not just for other people.

5. Don’t be too hard on yourself. The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.

Back then, I used to hate myself for indulging in my guilty pleasures. That includes spending hours just scrolling for memes. If you’re the kind of person who constantly hustles, you know how easy it is to beat yourself up if you’re doing things that aren’t aligned to your goals. But one person reminded me of this thing. It’s necessary to keep the balance just as long as you don’t overdo it. 

6. Don’t be afraid to let go of people/situations that no longer serve you.

I have always longed to quit my job as a civil engineer for years, but I am so afraid of what might happen if I do so. But after finally doing it, I have never been as fulfilled and happy in my career life. Most of the time, we still hold on to people, things, or certain situations even if they’re unhealthy for us simply because we’re scared to let go of the comfortability they bring, and we’re scared of what lies ahead. 

7. Filter out the noise.

It’s effortless to get distracted with all the loads of content social media is constantly putting on our table. This is my constant struggle as well. Once I open fb and look for memes, I usually find myself doing it for hours. What I did is I created two other fb accounts. One is intended to communicate with close friends and family solely. I call the other one a growth account. It’s just a dummy account where I only follow my favorite influencers and pages. With this hack, I could filter out the unnecessary things that don’t deserve my attention.  

8. Numbers don’t always define success.

It’s easy to measure success through numbers if it’s apparent in your bank account, the weighing scale, or the awards you’ve won. But numbers will never tell you how good of a person you are, how much your family and friends love you, how kind, intelligent, funny, and generous you are, how you treat other people, how you choose self-worth, and how you choose to still live with all the pain and struggles you’ve encountered.

9. Impress people with the way you treat others.

I am not impressed by money, social status, or job title. I’m impressed by the way someone treats other human beings.

People who treat others with respect always impress me more than anything. I always look up to people who are living without self-entitlement. Radiating that kindness, compassion, respect, and warmth to others is a magical combo that is truly irresistible. 

10. Where your time, money, energy, and attention go are the most important things TO YOU.

The important things and people in your life are where your most scarce resources go. It is easy to say what and who are important to you. But try to check where your time, money, energy, and attention go. Are they going to places you said that are most significant to you?

11. Life is full of abundance.

More often than not, we hoard things in fear of losing. But this very mentality will also limit you to thinking that everything is scarce. This is why some people are ALWAYS expecting rewards or repayment in return for something they gave. But don’t get me wrong. There are things and people that are meant not to share. Some things are naturally scarce, like time and gold. But if you constantly live with a scarcity mindset for all your resources, you will never have enough.

12. Things will go south from time to time.

You will encounter struggles and failures from time to time, and that’s okay. What’s more important is how you deal with the things you have no control over and how you choose to continue through life with all the pain and struggles you have. Sometimes, you need to break to be rebuilt. Sometimes, life lets us experience things to awaken something from us. Just trust your ability to transform and know that there’s something out there waiting for you. The stronger version of you. 

13. Show up. Just show up.

Life has funny ways to mess up your day. But as Brene Brown said, sometimes the bravest and most important thing to do is show up. Feeling bad about how certain things or people have wronged you is temporary. It will always pass. But that small win you do just by showing up will not only make up your day but will also open your doors of opportunity. So no matter how late, messy, scared, or confused you are, just show up. Be there where you’re meant to be there.

14. Let go of the things you can’t control.

If you can still do something about it, do it. If not, then let it go. Most of our stresses come from dealing with things we can’t control. Don’t be a prisoner of the things you can’t change.

15. You are what you read, watch, and listen to.

You’re always taught that you are what you eat. But I believe it’s what you feed in your mind that contributes the most. Because once your life perspective and mindset shift, that’s when all the other things in your life follow. You now act based on what you consume. And that includes picking the proper meals. If what you allow are positive inputs, then you will constantly think for the better. But if you let the negatives, that’s what you’ll eventually become. Your cup can only pour what you’ve caught.

16. Walking the walk is more important than talking the talk.

Words are cheap when not followed by actions. Keep doing things as you say you will. Show up as you say you would. Finish something you have started. Keep walking the walk—one step at a time.

17. Take care of yourself.

You are your own home. Take care of that home. Fall in love with taking care of yourself that you don’t need others to “complete” you. Fall in love with forgiving yourself for the things you can’t control. Fall in love with making amends with your childhood trauma. Fall in love with taking responsibility for all the things that happen in your life, both the good and the bad. Fall in love with becoming the best version of you who respects your life journey. 

18. By helping others, you’re also helping yourself.

What I love the most about helping someone is hearing advice I might also need. I hear the words I need to hear coming from my mouth. I notice this, especially in times when I feel I’m losing hope. If I could constantly give hope to other people, why can’t I do it to myself?

19. Balance growth and evolution with pure contentment of the present.

Your desire for growth doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not happy and grateful for the things you currently have. It just means you’re keeping the balance and living the present while constantly doing the things aligned with your life vision.

20. Be teachable.

It takes humility to accept you still have more room to grow. Accepting that you may not know it all will eventually lead to something that could give you more wisdom, knowledge, and skill to make yourself better.

21. Skip the small talks.

I’m not too fond of small talks, especially if the discussion highlights gossips. Instead, I’m a soul that craves deep and nourishing conversations. Tell me about your struggles, pains, wins, ideas, and concepts, and I’ll share mine.

22. Protect your peace at all costs.

I usually find myself getting easily drained with certain things, people, or situations. But it just went to a point when I no longer care for things or people that destroy my peace. I think it’s part of caring for yourself and your whole well-being. If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive. 

23. Don’t focus on your net worth. Focus on providing value. Money will follow.

Most people nowadays are blinded by figures and false successes. And so they follow “it” without making themselves deserving for that success. What most people don’t know is money always follows where the value is. You’re paid for the value you put on the table, not just for the time it took you. You can’t get more time, but you can always be as twice as valuable as you are before. 

24. It will always get better. Your life purpose will pull you through any dark times.

Nothing is more painful than slowly achieving the things you’ve always wanted to have but NOT having the most important person you want to share it with. When I lost my father last year, it seemed like I also lost my life purpose. But I have to go on with life no matter how painful it is for me. And this blog helped me a lot in coping up with that loss. If my purpose wasn’t big enough, I think I’m still on a lost path until now.

25. Your partner is your ally in so many things.

I know he’ll be able to read this. Hi My Love! I never knew how important this lesson is until I met my partner. He’s been with me through my worst and looked after me, especially when I failed to look after myself. He’s my best friend, my father, my brother, my workout coach, my life coach, my therapist, and my lover all in one. Above all, he’s the one who led me back to God. Choosing your life partner is such a crucial choice you’ll be making since you’ll reap the consequences of that choice for the rest of your life. 

26. Say it. 

You’ll never realize how important it is to tell your friend or loved one how much they mean to you until you find yourself mourning in front of their grave. That’s the sad reality for me. Communication is always the key so remember to grab all the opportunities to show them your gratitude while you still can.

I only have three wishes.

My first wish is for my father to have peace in heaven. I know out of all people around him, he constantly worries about me the most. Call it a hunch or what, but he repeatedly asked our family friends to look after me when he’s gone, even if he’s still very much healthy in those times. 

My second wish is for myself. I wish for constant peace in my mind, heart, and soul. I want to continue to be strong enough to look after myself and the people who are dear to me. I wish for more wisdom so I can share more. Lastly, I wish for more blessings so I can bless more people. I may not have a lot, but I have more than enough to share.

My third and last wish is for you. Yes, you. The very person at the end of the screen. I want you to have it all. I hope all your heart’s desires will be granted. Thanks for being with me, and I hope you’ll continue to stay with me on this journey. 

Please listen to this song I’ve dedicated for you.

With love and light, 

Sheila